"I've loved you from the day you were born. My love will never quit. Now you're leaving for college and I Have To Pay For This $h!t."



Admit it, you will be crying like a baby when your once small child is out the door, on the way to college. You will be happy, sad, excited, and nervous. But the most conflicting part of their college departure is getting hit with a massive bill. I Have to Pay for This $h!t is a book for parents who are getting ready to face the reality of college bills while simultaneously facing the emotions of their baby leaving home. A profane and loving tale that will remind you of all the good times. You will be laughing, and you will be crying. This rhyming book covers all the turbulence that comes with having an adult child. So, the next time you go sign that check, have a cocktail, and curl up with this book.


A hilarious book for parents sending their kid off to college.

A profane take on college tuition.

A funny and emotional reminder of all the good times.

Reminiscent of children’s nursey rhymes.

This Book is...

Great for parents with kids leaving the nest.

Great to give as a gift to a high school grad as a joke.

Great to give to a parent and watch the waterworks.

Great for college graduation parties.


From the Author

On December 16, 2021, at 6:01 pm, I jumped with excitement and simultaneously felt tears run down my face. Everything my daughter had worked for in her last 13 years of school came to fruition, she was accepted into her dream school! In a matter of seconds, my entire world changed. I was so proud then it hit me – she is actually leaving, moving several hours away and I won’t see her every day, and to make matters worse…I have to pay for it!!!  This book was born that day.

I Have to Pay for This $h!t is full of every bit of joy, worry, fear, and excitement that we feel as our kids move from our homes to a college dorm. I hope this book helps you explain how you feel to everyone while you are reminded that you aren’t alone…we will get through this together.

Christy Pruitt- Haynes

Why the book is illustrated the way it is?

Loving your children is one of the most universal experiences there is.  It crosses every gender, race, age, religion, and region in the world.  Wanting the best for them always and missing them when they are gone is a feeling most every parent can relate to and I wanted this book to reflect that. 

Beyond that, education has often been called the great equalizer.  It is one of the best ways to expand your horizons and create options for your life that didn’t exist before.  That’s why seeing a diverse college campus will always make me smile.  None of us can change the past or control the situation or circumstances we were born into but all of us can work towards creating the future we want and college is one of the ways many students choose to do that. 

It was important that this book reflected the experience of graduating high school, going to college, and facing the difficulties of paying for it from a diverse perspective – because every demographic experiences it.  It was critical that almost every parent and most every child could pick this book up and see someone who reminded them of themselves.  


"How did Christy climb inside my head? Inside my heart? As I read it the first time I laughed and then I cried and then I laughed again. ( I might have cried again too.) How can our babies doing exactly what we’ve raised them to do feel so surreal? Only another mama knows."

Kristina C. Mom to Nia C. Wesleyan c/o '26

"This clever work of art will help many families and friends to embrace, release or find solace in knowing they are not alone through this “off to college space”. Thank you for sharing your heart and giving others the courage to be fearless and to know everything will be okay!"

Christie S. mom to Jadyn S. COLLEGE-BOUND

"When you have a baby, people warn that they will grow up in the blink of an eye. I didn’t believe it, but here we are! This book captures the big and small moments along the way. "

Traci N. mom to Kate N. College-bound

“Christy has captured all the universal truths of my son’s impending departure! Some make me laugh, some make me cry; but all make me grateful that my baby is launching into the next phase of his life. Cheers to all the new empty nesters out there, you are my tribe!”

Gina, Mom of Carter College Bound

"This book indeed made me laugh, cry, and cry laughing. It captured the emotional roller coaster of a parent sending her kid off into the real world, the ups and downs of parenthood, and gave us parents the reassurance that we are not alone."

Mia R. Mom to Devin College Bound
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    Shannon Leigh Keenan

    Adair Neff